MathJax

Thursday, January 29, 2015

I Totally Need To Just Take It Easy, Man.

My mom and I were talking sometime before her surgery, and she mentioned something that involved praying or prayer in the conversation.  She then remembered, oh yeah, I don't believe in that stuff anymore. This usually triggers a conversation about religion.  What happened next was brief, but extremely enlightening. 

I remember expressing that I felt pity for her because she wasn't able to think outside the box.  In other words, I perceived her way of thinking as closed.  The parameters are set; they do not change.  She gave me the same confused look I was about to give her when she expressed her pity for me for not being able to find any sort of peace.  She was referring to never finding answers, continuously finding contradictions within the parameters she and others have set, and always on a quest for truth.  A light turned on right above my head, just like in the cartoons.  I said nothing further on the subject and we moved on.

A revelation came shortly after showing confusion myself, and thinking about why she was also taken aback.  We both find peace and contentment in completely different places. What makes it difficult to accept for the both of us is that these places seem like hell holes for the other.  

The reason I have been militant and angry with this subject, is that I once thought inside the box. I know, because I've lived it, that it is possible to break down the barriers of that box and think freely and there is peace in it. So, because I changed, I think other people will change too. 

Truth is, however, I need to lighten the fuck up.  Hopefully, you have been witnessing those efforts for a while now.  


2 comments:

  1. Respecting others' views when you disagree with them is difficult, and I think it gets more difficult the closer you are to the person. Strong positive correlation. Boom.

    I guess I try to think of it in terms of placing my respect for the person above my need to be right. And I don't know about you, but that can be pretty hard for me sometimes.

    ReplyDelete
  2. In many cases, it isn't a "I'm right and you're wrong" situation, because I lack a stance. It is as if I'm gazing out over an infinite minefield of "boxes" and can explore each one individually, or throw many out because they simply are not worth my time.

    From time to time, I explore one full of crazy ideas and contradictions, and wonder why I find so many people living in there. To them, there is only light inside the box, and darkness everywhere else. It is the only place they can see or be. Instead of inviting them out, I guess I'm just trying to figure out how to delicately provide some light on this outside world.

    ReplyDelete